The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Bodyguard
06:28 Oct 31 2008
Times Read: 662

With a gang of fingers pressing the buttons of their sweet Blackberry's, they protect the vamp nation one text at a time!! Thank, Whelp! You have made a believer out of me!





Quote: We are guardians of the the night, protextors of all vampyres!

Dumb da dumb dumb...
21:40 Oct 26 2008
Times Read: 693

From what I understand this is a psychic ability. You're a cool Whelp! I'll give you that. I want to be able to know in advance that I am going to do something deviant (like cut English, maybe?).



Im cute, not innocent, psycotic pyro, and very preverted!

Truth-O-Meter
21:27 Oct 26 2008
Times Read: 694

Some of us are just stuck inside the Matrix! Let go, Whelp... there is no spoon! LOL Name is withheld. You will know "the one" when you meet someone who is really cool on the net.



"and fro some reason alot of people i meet on the 'net say im pretty cool. People in real life think im lame,"

-- VR Whelp





If the real world says you are lame... you probably are. If I can deal with it, so can you. Man up, you pussy, and be lame.

Wha?
21:17 Oct 26 2008
Times Read: 696

Like, totally! Name protected... they aren't paying attention anyway.







Im an easily drasticated person and i zone out ALOT

Worldwide Family of Idiots...
21:04 Oct 26 2008
Times Read: 701


THIS ENTRY CONTAINS OFFENSIVE MATERIAL.

AGAIN, THIS MAY BE CONSIDERED HIGHLY OFFENSIVE. I HAVE DONE MY PART AND WARNED.











I find nothing comical about the death of a child. Ever. The content of this entry is simply because I am beside myself with shock at the behavior of the parents.



I do not understand this ICP culture. I find it to be be so beyond idiocy that I have decided to give up on any attempts to try an understand this culture. If, by this couple you are represented -- then you are all part of a family of worldwide idiots.



I hope there is a here and now "Shangri-La" as I would most assuredly donate money to shipping all of you there and then petition to have that blip on the globe nuked.



Despite the fact I have completely disrespected the grieving family with what I have done to the pictures, please see that I have done nothing by comparison to what has not been added by me. I have only covered names and faces.



I am also attaching the actual letter the mother of this poor child wrote on an ICP fansite. Deranged? Too kind a word for my opinion of this whole affair.





Quote:

R * I * P



***** Lotus *****

05 - 11 - 2008





Mother ~ Julie aka Juggalo Julz

Father ~ Joe aka Druggalo JK47



BORN ~ Mothers Day, Sun.



May 11, 2008 10:39am



DIED ~ Mothers Day, Sun.



May 11, 2008 10:52



FROM MOMMA, JUGGALO JULZ::



MY LITTLE NINJETTE DIED 1 IN A MILLION MEDICAL ERROR..FOR NO REASON. THE DOCTORS SHOOK THERE HEADS AT ME AND SAID WERE DONT KNOW WHY OR HOW. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? MY DAUGHTER SHOULD BE IN MY ARMS RIGHT NOW AND SHES GONE AND THATS PRICELESS TO ME!!! I PROMISED MY LOTUS I WOULD GET JUSTICE FOR HER DEATH TO MY VERY LAST BREATH! PLEASE HELP A JUGGALO FAMILY OUT.....



EVERY & ANY JUGGALO & JUGGALETTE IS INVITED TO MY BABY NINJETTE ******* LOTUS ****** FUNERAL..WERE ALL A FUCK’N FAMILY AND OUR LITTLE LOTUS IS GONE TO SHANGRI-LA...

PLEASE WRITE ME BACK HERE OR EMAIL IF U WILL COME. IM STILL MAKING ARRANGEMENTS. ON DATE OR TIME YET..



BEST WISHES ~



PLEASE WEAR ANYTHING DARK LOTUS OR IF U FONT HAVE LOTUS ANYTHING PSYCHOPATHIC GEAR TO HER FUNERAL



PLEASE JUGGALOS IF U CAN DONATE ANYTHING EVEN .



$0.01 OR $1. OO WILL HELP US TO GET A HEADSTONE FOR OUR DAUGHTER.



YOU CAN DONATE AT THE FUNERAL

OR IF U CANT ATTEND PLEASE FEEL FREE TO STILL DONATE ANYTHING TO OUR HOME AND EMAIL ME ON HERE AND I WILL SEND U MY ADDRESS...



PLEASE BRING A LOTUS FLOWER THEY ARE SO RARE TO FIND. OR PLEASE TELL ME WHERE I CAN FIND ONE.. IM HAVING A LOT TROUBLE FINDING IT...



PLEASE FAMILY COME AND SUPPORT US IN OUR DARKEST HOUR...NINJA DOWN



MCL JULIE & JOE





WHERE ~ ********** & SONS FUNERAL HOME



ADDRESS ~ ***********.

**************



FUNERAL HOME PHONE ~ *******



DATE ~ FRIDAY ****** 2008



TIME ~ 9:00AM - 1:00PM (Service starts at !:00pm then we go to the cemetery)



*REMEMBER AT A FUNERAL WE ALL FOLLOW TOGETHER TO THE CEMETERY AFTER THE SERVICE.....



LAYED TO REST AT ~ EDEN CEMETERY



ADDRESS ~ **************

*************



CEMETERY PHONE ~ ****************



*WE PRAY TO SEE ALL JUGGALOS THERE FOR ******** LOTUS....



THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT,

A GRIEVING JUGGALO MOTHER & FATHER







Ugh!





This is how you present the memory of your baby?!?!





Yes, she is dressed in an ICP outfit with a juggalo gold chain, but they cannot afford a headstone? Has the world gone MAD?!?!?!





I feel so awkward for everyone at this funeral.









Again, I am just disgusted and beside myself with this stupidity. I can only hope that someone wanted to put together an elaborate joke. Even if that were the case, I am really not laughing.



If this is how you stand, I do not see any reason for me to ever help you to your feet. I do not respect you as your respect for life wears nothing more than clown make-up.

No. More.
01:12 Oct 25 2008
Times Read: 721

Remember those pictures you would have to look at until your eyes went blurry and then you'd see a 3-D picture?







dislikes



heartless bitches, four wheelers( cars, trucks, etc) van drivers (semi truckers)



likes





spinach, green beans, hot chicks, hair, ass, flat bed trucks, oversized loads (trucks)

Pardon?
00:34 Oct 25 2008
Times Read: 736

Yada, yada, yada... protected name of Whelp, so on and so forth.



This is just the end of the profile.

So pleasant dreams, for someone of who you know nothing, a stranger, a shadow in the darkness has just whispered in your ear.



*turns around with confused look from dragon breath and signs "What? I can't hear you."*

My Quota: Overcrowded...
00:01 Oct 25 2008
Times Read: 747

Okay, it is not FAIR! Not fair to me nor anyone else with more than a 7th grade reading level. It's not even fair to someone just learning to read! My suggestion? Next time you're called to trial and found "guilty but tolerable" (and what the HELL does that mean, you schmuck?), just opt for lethal injection. Where in the holy hell are my tax dollars going?!?!?!? Obviously, not your neighborhood.



The name has been protected. Look for someone in a prison outfit following a little girl. (lol, any one out there ever play BioShoock?)







To say the least, after a few millenia here seeing the suffering, and feeling the pain of this world, i went a little...crazy...some may call it demonic, others evil. well, i did start the bubonic, and black plegs, so you choose.



In the end the astrial lines called me forth and I was set a trial. i was found gulty, but 'tolorable'. I am now facing my sentence in the one pure child of whats left of this world. she has great power, yet no control. so as a setence, i help her with her power, so she may take my place if i go crazy again or i die, and in return she is to teach me the good of the human race which i have so obviously forgoton, and a little humility. yeah...3 centuries now and i...i guess im changing, boo.

Big package, little brain.
23:33 Oct 24 2008
Times Read: 749

Okay, I want to give a link to this profile, but it would be wrong. However, the inability to make a feeble attempt at English, the pics of your pecs and the overall dopiness that shows you made a wrong turn when joining this site... *sigh* This is NOT myspace. It is NOT facebook. It is not singleidiots.com. Next time? have someone type in the URL for you.





"6'3 285 luv meetin new peeps so holla at ur boy"

Reading is Fundamental!
23:05 Oct 24 2008
Times Read: 763

Well, I would be kinder to this Whelp, but they have forced my hand by annoying my sweet and innocent (okay, that was a lie) Wolfy.

I am not protecting this Whelp. There is no need.





ah dint unnerstand a word of wot yoo said - crazyork





The reason they did not understand is because they only recently gave up eating paste and started working on the alphabet. There will never be any "alpha" in this whelp -- "bet"! Let's just cut off his fingers. What's worse, is I can't tell if they are from down south or British!

COLUMBINE, Transylvania....
00:15 Oct 23 2008
Times Read: 789

Whelp is a cold-blooded killer. BIRTH CONTROL! Use it and you won't have to worry about the following... (I called the police... nyah... I didn't know the country code.)





Hi, myname is *******, i am ******* years old and i live in transylvania, with my mom and step dad. I hate him. And her. And myself. I wonder why I don't end it every night. I mean, my step dad (curse him) has a .45 in his bedroom, and it's not locked up or anything, it would be so easy....



UGH writing boils my blood. i hate writingningingingg EUGHE

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>:[[[[[[[



PISSS ON THISSSSSSSS





Listens for gunshots and drinks a Pepsi.

Impaled!
00:42 Oct 22 2008
Times Read: 809

If the 1 I rated you with were a sword -- you would be halved. Whelp. Protected. Though, I'd rather not...





Quote: Suck A Fuck...And Cry

You're not bringing sexy back...
23:15 Oct 20 2008
Times Read: 831

Some Whelps just get foreplay backwards. Why, Whelp!?! WHY??

Name is protected because, well... bad foreplay is not fun for anyone.





Quote: Love Is Fear If You Fear Me I Will Eat You





Honey, don't you know that if you eat most people and do it well, they WILL love you???



Yeah, I said it. So?

Xzavier... Why can't you be straight!! LOL!
22:28 Oct 20 2008
Times Read: 842

Xzavier... I am going to hide your rainbow flag and get you to be hetero for one full day...

I love this man's humor. He is one of the few people that can make someone feel special as he insults the holy mess out of them!





The following is his reaction to the Hiroshima of the English language in this particular thread... *still giggling*

****************************************************



Xzavier

Necromancer (27)

Posts: 486







Immortal Vampires

Posted: 23:27:40 - Oct 18 2008

Times viewed: 170



Grammar, it's an important thing.



I would suggest doing a forum search for more information.



In the realm of possibilities an immortal vampire could exist but there is no real evidence of such a thing. Besides, if I were immortal I would find nothing amusing about something as common as simple and mortal humans.

Ugh, just shut up!!!
20:56 Oct 18 2008
Times Read: 879

I ordered no fortune cookie with my Whelp. Nor should any of you...

Name is protected... just look for the guy with a Fu Man Chu mustache.





He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.



He who spews shit knows shit must be kicked out of him.

Channelling Samuel L Jackson...
16:20 Oct 18 2008
Times Read: 894

Jesus Christ, the world has gotten dumber over the course of one night.

The Whelp is protected... you can buy fire from them, though... I think?



i am a fire vender vampire who used to a soul hunter prist

16:00 Oct 18 2008
Times Read: 899

I'm just being bitchy today... Yes, Whelp's name has been spared.



Im a vampire i love peoples blood cuz it is nothing like the warm fresh blood droppin on your lips. im also a juggalo i get down with the clowns. im a unique person you will never meet another nigga like me. just come and find out who im am. and check out myspace and mocospace put in my email XXXXXX@mocospace.com to find me. peace



Simply put. Shut the fuck up and drink your Faygo. Chris Rock already explained, unless it is Christmas Eve between 4:30 am and 4:45 am and you were robbed and pissed on -- you may NOT use the word "nigga". Carajo.

22:04 Oct 15 2008
Times Read: 943

Whelp name protected... Simply put, I don't get it. Your lack of communicability is, however, pissing me off.



Quote: smoke a smoke not a butt fuck a virgin and not a slut.





I am really open minded. I hope to learn and keep learning. I have been a wolf and an eagle. I am proud to be a vimpire now. This is the true form I was in any state of animal. I wish to remain this way even if I am killed. I also am with the one and true love for me.

He is not a vampire but HUMAN. I try my best not to turn him, I am willing to live my life with out him when he is gone. I am willing to be the one to work throu this whole ordeal.

I dig it, too!
22:25 Oct 12 2008
Times Read: 968

You are punny, but I would stay in construction -- the avting market isn't so hot... thanks for the larf, though! I thought I was getting soft!







Quote: why are tigers strong, because their born that way





names XXXXX i work in construction. i dig darkness. i read mangas in my spare time and do a little atving

Hose Ho!
17:09 Oct 12 2008
Times Read: 978

Ladies... and gentleman (where applicable) THROW AWAY YOUR PANTYHOSE! Or you WILL be massaged by a Whelp I cannot name. That is all...





i love to give massages to any one that wears pantyhose and like to bite people who i like and draw blood from any part of the body and play in the dark

Quaking....
14:11 Oct 11 2008
Times Read: 1,034

Um, Mr. Cancer, sir... *stifles a giggle* Oh sir, of the Infinite Suspension! Please note, that while I may be nutty, I am in no way insulting your Princely powahs... I would not normally add such a blurb, but after coming across my latest fit of "Oh no he deeeeen't" I though I would be smart(ish) and cover my ass. I do not wish to be a statistic....

*bats eyelashes until one accidentally sticks* See?! Innocent!





You've been suspended indefinitely. Calling me a cheap ass bitch might not have been the brightest idea.



Cancer

Sep 23 2005

Now ze Germans vill take achtung!
13:34 Oct 11 2008
Times Read: 1,035

Yes! Achtung! Sevenn has put up her own personal Berlin Wall of now return... *grin*

Rule# 329480: Sevenn may send you packing if The Prince can't be bothered... Damn, she makes ya feel like an orphan about it , too!





You had fair warning. No need for you to come back.



Sevenn

Jan 21 2008

Rawr! *cough cough*
12:50 Oct 11 2008
Times Read: 978

The last time I either roared or growled, I sounded like and old man wheezing as he coughed up a lung. I was also given a restraining order the very next day... I digress.



I was going to stick just with the quote... My typos aren't as funny, sometimes. (Like my sis when she is tipsy -- ya lush!)

So, here it is in it's unedited version.

Quote: I am clam when the world goes crazy.





I never had a boyfriend always looking for one I can sink my real fangs (they are real but not sharp) into. I love the taste of my own blood and giving blood to American Red Cross. I have two talents which are I can roar like Lion and growl like a pit bull dog. I have asthma. I am a big girl in size. I love all type of cats.





I am woman when the world goes crazy... Or, I am Jane -- you are Tarzan; world go crazy! We roar!



Still reworking it... Still, roaring and growling, but has asthma! Fuck that IS a talent! Cirque de Soleil, even!

I failed.
20:27 Oct 10 2008
Times Read: 1,044

I must be stupid. Or stoned? Or both? I still can't understand the first sentence this Whelp is trying so hard to convey... *collapses from aneurism*



I guess u can say im very anti A.D.D.!! Im jus chill but i do like to have fun!!! i cant stand bein alone!! my social group is all the skater stoner type!! only the funest people!!! l

i like all the music!! xcept 4 country!! hate that shit!!! i love all the scary movies i love to be sared!! HALLOWEEN is the best holiday in the world!!! if nightmare before Xmas xsistd i would love to live there for all eturnity!!! if u wana kno more bout me jus ask!!!!



Just help me understand the "very anti A.D.D" part and then I can move on to understanding the determination not to spell any word unless a necessary, etc.

O!Y! Icdt2
19:13 Oct 10 2008
Times Read: 1,051

Text this Beevis...



ESADYSLTOAC



in response to profile reading:





Quote: eat shyt and die





NYFOB

Well, I know I don;t know what they said, but they didn't start off friendly, so it can't get nicer!



My response covers feces, death, the stupid and children. There. Clean.

19:04 Oct 10 2008
Times Read: 1,056

Anyone who comes up with the best quote for this Whelp gets something from me.. (Whelp is protected... of course)



Quote: *Insert Random Quote Here*



I will start with: "Originality is futile"

Horny HellWhelp...
18:58 Oct 10 2008
Times Read: 1,058

Time to explain how the real world works... again!



Quote: I bite, you scream, its all good!

See, you messed up right there... You open your mouth with fangs? I behead you, I have an ice cream cone.



followed by...



Tall, Red Headded Woman, A positive blood, seeking like minded warm bodies for conversation, or mayhap more serious contact...(I hear your heart raceing...)



I've heard ejaculate with better come on lines!

(that is MY saying and is copyrighted...) It's just so desperate.

Fo' Shizzle Spamzizzle!
17:41 Oct 09 2008
Times Read: 1,081

CANCER ATTACK RULE #45766: No SPAM means NO SPAM! Sic 'em almighty Prince of the INDEFINITE SUSPENSION! What sucks (for that person) is that they did make it pretty high in the rankings -- I also noticed, that their Coven gets to keep hold of them -- is that for favor and rank? If so, dude, that is the most indentured servant I have ever seen! *hears chains clanging and runs...*





I warned you about spamming through Vampire Rave's Message Center. I warned you not to continue to break Vampire Rave's Terms of Service. You should have listened. You are now suspended indefinitely.



Cancer

Dec 10 2006

Spit! Definitely!
11:04 Oct 08 2008
Times Read: 1,112

So, the question is this "to swallow or not to swallow?" Well, you are a kind Whelp or having even takenly the gentlemanly approach -- but, dear heart? Never swallowed, never will...





Quote: Taste My Blood, But Do Not Swallow

10:55 Oct 08 2008
Times Read: 1,114

A fucking bully! You must be bloody joking! Come up in my beloved *grin* Rave and talk smack like you can throw down with us nasties?

I am going to send my cat, Pixie to eat you. She is a monster! One you have never seen the likes of -- now quiver!



Quote: i am a mean vampire





i am 5'2" 1/2 i weigh 210 pounds i have medium reddish brown hair and hazel eyes i dress in all black and i know how to fight.



I sent in the dimensions of this Whelp to set them up with Pixie in the Octagon...

Huh?
18:26 Oct 07 2008
Times Read: 1,129

I have no idea what the big deal is here? Can someone explain the "Whoo Hoo!" factor?





i look like edward cullen, i have the same powers as him, i am a vampire, i want to suck your blood, i rob the blood bank every chance i get

SMACKETH!
14:54 Oct 07 2008
Times Read: 1,132

D'oh! That was all I could say after reading Cancer's "blurbs of piss-offness"...

Such language!!

You had to be a dick.



Well, you can suck on this.



Cancer

Jan 01 2006



Such discipline!



You were told to quit stirring up trouble, public or otherwise. You didn't listen. Now you're banned from Vampire Rave indefinitely.



Cancer

Jan 01 2006



And definitely, NO bitchassness...



I am done with you. I have gone so far beyond the extra mile it's ridiculous. I will no longer accept the behavior that you exhibit and exert at Vampire Rave. You are manipulative, dishonest, and rude. It's over.



Cancer

Sep 22 2005

I'm just feeling catty... Woof!
14:36 Oct 07 2008
Times Read: 1,136

I've had it! What the fuck are they teaching the kids in classes??

This Whelp... well... just read:



Vampel = vampire + angel



Hmm, dumbass = Dumb + ass

This is just as bad as some of those athlete names out there that make no damned sense: Anfernee, Knowshon.... I could continue...

Oh Shizzle, you just got diagnosed with CANCER!
18:32 Oct 04 2008
Times Read: 1,162

Hee Hee, maybe these will get me in trouble -- maybe it won't. Simply put: I have now decided to add the profiles that Cancer has sent off to limbo... No, not to kiss up to our resident Prince Cueball, but because watching the Smacketh be put down makes me laugh. I will protect the names, just out of the little respect I have for the banished...





You were told to quit stirring up trouble, public or otherwise. You didn't listen. You're now banned from Vampire Rave indefinitely.



Cancer

Jan 01 2006

Nasty Bile Baby!
15:28 Oct 01 2008
Times Read: 1,181

Finger bangin? Vomit? Bitter gum? Ten shades of Ewwwww, I send your way Whelp... You made me have reflux. Unless you want me to feed you like a bird and spit it in your mouth? *passes out from acute nausea* The name has been protected... German Porn Stars require their privacy, too!





Quote: YOUR A PARASITIC PSYCHO FILTHY CREATURE FINGER BANGIN MY HEART!





FILL MY SOUL WITH VOMIT AND THEN ASK ME FOR A PIECE OF GUM BITTER AND DUMB YOUR MY SUGAR PLUM.